2 Pack

1 - We have a winner in our Record the Lacy Burbank Theme Song contest! We'll post it next week at some point for all you gaywads to beat-off to -

2 - Our weekly audit of mynorthwest.com web traffic finds that, once again, the butt pirates at Meathead & The Moron and the Joan Andrews Show Featuring Lacy Burbank have, yet again, fagged it up. Comments over the last 10 posts on each KIRO show's blog:

Dori Monson - 335 comments

Dave Ross - 126 comments

Joan Andrews Show Featuring Lacy Burbank - 38 comments
(this includes 7 by Lacy Burbank,
an artificial inflation of his stats)

Meathead & the Moron - 25 comments

When are they going to put these two craptastic shows down?

Katie Lazier Than Ever

Today's Meathead & The Moron Show was to feature a titilating investigation of the economic meltdown. The only problem? Call screener Katie couldn't be bothered to book a guest. The only solution?

Meathead: Hey, if you happen to be an expert on economics - call us up! If you happen to be a professor or a banker - call us up and explain the economy to us!

One of Meathead's "experts" then called in with a sob story of how she was out of a job and couldn't get anyone to hire her. Meathead said "send me your resume and I'll put it on our blog, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE READ IT!" WTF?! Does he really believe that? We've previously reported that 4 people read their blog and 2 of them are Katie.

KIRO-AM Not Queer Enough for Some

KIRO-AM, which operates the most swashbuckling, butt-pirating lineup of queer baiters after 3PM each day, is apparently not quite pastel enough for some of its limp-wristed employees. An up-and-coming Seattle radio blog reports. KIRO-AM employees apparently feel unsatisfied by the hire of Lacy Burbank and Meathead & The Moron and are demanding more more more!

Lacy Burbank Ups the Pathetic Factor with the Increasing Nonsense of His Poor Man's Jimmy Fallon Routine

We've previously covered the many documented cases of Lacy Burbank liberally "borrowing" schtick from other radio / tv programs for his little AM radio snoozefest.

What is often more pathetic, though, is when the man-child finds something too well done and then tries to put his chubby thumbprints all over it by (1) dismissing it with a haughty nod, and, (2) attempting to salvage some remote, tortured, stretched connection between it and himself. It is important to Lacy Burbank that, if he can't be Dr. Pepper, he can at least be Mr. Pibb.

This was in evidence in a recent blog post on the creepy, overweight hack's blog in which the man-child regaled us with a recap of some past instance of his "genius", then provided actual content of some creative humor (created by someone other than himself, naturally) and finished it off by pointing out his connection to it - in this case the fact that one of his lame ass, (also overweight) public access radio friends happened to have appeared for 2 seconds in the background by accident -- embarrassingly noting that this stretched connection would be, for his reader, the most interesting part of his post. (This particular "friend" we've covered in a prior report.)

It's Lacy's weird, pathetic, creepy, self-esteem absent, attention-grabbing, formula we see time and time again:

1 - remind everyone who the "star" is

2 - provide some actually entertaining content created by someone who is actually entertaining

3 - link the listener/reader back to #1 by asserting some remote connection "the star" has to #2

The total lack of self-awareness of this guy is thrillingly amazing.

Once Again - Lacy Burbank and Meathead & The Moron Suck it Up (oh yeah, KIRO staffers get fired, too)

No more able to afford Lacy Burbank's insatiable demands for Ho-Ho's and Astroglide, KIRO-AM recently fired a bunch of people. But you can read all about that on other blogs.

Annnnywhooo, to punish Meathead and The Moron for their absolute suck-fest in the web game, KIRO management have added another hour to their workday (now heard from 3 to 7 instead of 3 to 6). That means one extra hour of Katie Shriek Fest. That also means you few Meathead & The Moron listeners who remain shouldn't go buying any new china or expensive glassware.

"But what do you mean by web game suck-fest, Blogger?"

Well, fags, here is our sixth weekly comment stats from the Four Families blogs on mynorthwest.com and you'll see that - once again - Lacy Burbank and Meathead & the Moron take it in the pooper.

Dori Monson - 206 comments over previous 10 posts
Dave Ross - 133 comments over previous 10 posts
Lacy Burbank - 73 comments over previous 10 posts
Meathead & The Moron - 22 comments over previous 10 posts.

By the way - the Blogger was on vacay last week so, for all you gaywads who have nothing better to do than read this shit, we hope you found something else to amuse yourselves, like obsessive self-abuse.

Obamanation Elected: Burbank Out of a Job?

It's been the talk of talk radio this week: The One Party will use its newly granted dictatorial authority to reintroduce the Fairness Doctrine to silence opposition and ensure continuity of power in 2010, something they were unable to do in 1994.

What does the Fairness Doctrine mean for KIRO-AM with 3 liberal and 1 conservative hosts? It means the reverse from just about any other city. One of the liberal hosts is losing their job ...
which one will it be?

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock ...

Lacy Burbank Shouts Out to a Bastard Mama

Our treat for Halloween was boning a trick we met last Wednesday. We've previously noted we're rated "R" for "Republican" but we do much prefer the Democratic ladies as they're usually willing to take it in the pooper. Anyway, she's asleep now so we thought we'd sneak out and write a little WDK update.

Lacy Burbank, who likes to proudly note he's a bastard daddy, is now sponsoring a contest to record a rap that will cheer-up the bastard mama of one of his listeners (apparently her welfare check didn't clear or something, we didn't follow). The inane, butt-pirating lyrics that he wrote can be found on his sparsely-trafficked website.

Apparently they're supposed to be funny.

[crickets]

WDK is now also sponsoring a contest to record our lyrics to the Lacy Burbank Theme Song set to the tune of Cher's Dark Lady. (There's no artist more faggily appropriate for a Burbank theme than Cher.)

So get your mics ready, start recording and email us your MP3s. We'll post one winner here within the next two weeks. Following are the sanctioned lyrics:

The PM Queen,
Of the Radio Scene,
Strutting' Around in his Tight Lady Jeans.

He is fat,
And not with a P,
We're talking cellulite, 1, 2 and 3.

Joan Andrews,
Acts Ed McMahon,
She is truly his one and only fan.

I turned on my AM set,
He's still on the air,
Did someone lose a bet?
---
(CHORUS)

Luke Burbank giggled and jiggled,
As the ratings fell one by one.
Potted up the microphone and said,
"Let's have some fun!"

Luke Burbank giggled and jiggled,
As the clock struck five to ten.
This time tomorrow he'll be back,
And do it all again.
---
They have a fan,
And he is a fag,
Sits at home watching re-runs of JAG.

But when the big hand,
Hits seven o'clock,
He grabs some vaseline and one dirty old sock.

Dreaming of Burbank,
Wearing a wig,
This kid he is one sick, lonely pig.

The show gets going,
And he's stroking one off,
That sound you hear is a groan, not a cough!
---
(CHORUS)
---
The show's now rockin',
Talkin' NPR,
Joan is cackling, that's all she's done so far.

Luke reminds us that he used to be big,
Until he got shuffled,
To this provincial, lonely gig.

Working the swing shift,
On an AM band,
This wasn't what daddy had planned.

So if you ever hear,
K-I-R-O,
Heed my advice and skip this lame-ass show.
---
(CHORUS)
---
see the original:



BTW - our winner of the Promote WDK and Win a Dildo Contest is Herbert in Des Moines. Congratulations, queer!

Program Review: TBTL Fags It Up, Even with Lacy Burbank Gone

For the first time in a long time we caught a tiny bit of TBTL tonight. Apparently Lacy "Big Boned" Burbank was taking one of his many nights off, leaving the show to the high-pitched screech of sidekick Joan Andrews. Our observations:

(1) Joan Andrews, as she does whenever she hosts, did a show dedicated to all things New York. Thank God. If there's one thing that helps the ratings of a local radio show it's covering another city and another city exclusively (NOT). As long as they don't start selling advertising on their faggy podcast this will all work into our master plan of seeing TBTL canceled and replaced with Bob Brinker reruns.

(2) Joan interviewed a pair of lesbos, in the middle of which one of the lesbos starting cursing and had to be "dumped." (That's what happens when you spend your show budget on a sidekick instead of a producer.)

(3) We've already queried about Joan's "made for newspaper" cackle-shriek voice, but what is with her neurotic, breathless, gasping style of talk when she's hosting? She sounds like a nervous high school DJ ... "first day on the air!"

(4) On two separate occasions Joan pleaded with the member of the audience not to send her any mean instant messages. This reminded us of Luke's occasional on-air meltdowns when he accuses people of being out to get him. It's all pretty telling and pretty faggy.

One thing that didn't change was the atrocious prep. Each time they wanted to play a clip there were several awkward moments and on-air references to which file, which folder, which directory said clip was stored in ... Lacy's chubby thumbprints are still all over this trainwreck.

All in all a typical night of butt-pirating on 710 khz.

UPDATE: She ended the show by just playing 10 minutes of audio from last night's episode of Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Why do they even bother with having a radio show at night? Just play the NBC audio feed every night and save $$$, KIRO-AM.

Third Week in a Row: TBTL and R&D are The Biggest Losers! Congrats, Fags!

For the third week in a row, Ron & Don and Lacy "Big Boned" Burbank are KIRO's biggest losers, generating a pitiful amount of web traffic as indicated by relative comments over their 10 most recent posts.

Dori Monson Show - 513 comments in last 10 posts
Dave Ross Show - 79 comments in last 10 posts
R&D Show - 22 comments in last 10 posts
TBTL - 22 comments in last 10 posts (which includes 3 by the host himself)

How much longer until they put these two dogs down?

Does Luke Burbank Look Like This Girl?

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:

CLICK HERE

Analysis: Another Week - R&D and TBTL Still Suck

Another week has gone by, it's time for our regular Friday analysis of KIRO blog stats. This time we're rolling in those for sister-station KTTH. Let's recap:

KIRO: 52,000 watt FM signal, 50,000 watt AM signal, online stream

KTTH: 50,000 watt AM signal

And now, the stats (comments over the last 10 posts on each blog):

Dori Monson Show (KIRO) - 340 comments
Dave Ross Show (KIRO) - 134 comments
David Boze Show (KTTH) - 35 comments
Meathead & the Moron Show (KIRO) - 33 comments
Joan Andrews Featuring Luke Burbank (KIRO) - 21 comments*

*note: this blog is the only one in which the blogger also leaves comments, creating an artificial inflation of the number of comments

Well, another week has gone by and R&D and TBTL have - again - completely sucked ass.

Whose ass? Probably each others.

OWNERSHIP OF COMMENTS ON MYNORTHWEST.COM

TBTL: The Loneliest Radio Show There Ever Was

Jealously eying the success that stations like WKQZ had experienced in attracting a young demographic with Mancow, or KLSX with Adam Corolla, KIRO responded by hiring a slightly paunchy, somewhat effeminate, former "star" (ahem) of public access radio with an atrocious lisp named Luke Burbank to reel in the same big numbers for them. This was widely considered a brilliant move on KIRO's part (by Luke Burbank).

After being criticized during his initial shows for liberally "borrowing" schtick from other radio programs, Burbank reclined to depend on his own devices - bad move.

In his latest trend-making bit, Burbank devoted an entire episode of his program - the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank - to discussing ... the theater! The details of this episode are contained in this summary blog post of Burbank's headlined with an image from Oklahoma!

As sad as this bumbling, butt-pirating faggotry is - in general - the saddest part is that the only comment in this post (we've previously reported that Burbank gets fewer comments on his blog than even those for low-wattage pirate radio station KTTH-AM) was made by himself! Sadder still is that the comment laments that more people aren't making comments!

You can't make this queerness up!

WDK Contest: Become a Switch-Hitter and Win

WeDislikeKatie is sponsoring an exclusive contest to help increase our web traffic.

The prize?

TWEN-TY-THOU-SAN-D-DOLL-ARS - TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS IN NEW WINDOWS AND TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS IN CASH!

No, not really.

The prize is actually a dildo, which is the best incentive we could think of to give all the queers who read this blog.

Here's how to enter:

1 - Add wedislikekatie.blogspot.com to the .sig line of the userid which you use to post to mynorthwest.com, radio-info.com or any other radio-centric or Seattle-centric message board or web forum.

2 - Make at least three posts to said message board or web forum.

3 - Email us (wedislikekatie@gmail.com) by or before October 30, 2008 with the links to your minimum three posts.

4 - Of all eligible entries, we will randomly select one to get the dildo. (Winners will be notified by e-mail.)

That's it.

Off the Dial: KUOW Offers Photostream of Local Retards

KUOW-FM, Seattle affiliate of official state broadcaster NPR (sister network to other state broadcasting services such as KCNA), recently posted this photo gallery of local retards.

KUOW-FM is funded, in part, by millions in government subsidies - each dollar of which they ungratefully claim is inconsequential and not really needed due to the effectiveness of their semi-annual panhandling - while battered women's shelters go chronically underfunded.

The conclusion? KUOW hates battered women.

Obama Election Would Mean Burbank Fired, WDK Endorses Obama

Despite what washed-up, thirty-something Hollywood B-listers claim, voting is not cool. And, in general, we really don't care about political tomfoolery, however, today on the Dori Monson Show, Dori noted that a Democratic president would sign the Fairness Doctrine into law. The result, for KIRO-AM, would be the need to replace one liberal host with a conservative one.

Guess who would get the shaft?

That's right: the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank.

In light of this analysis, WeDislikeKatie is now officially endorsing Barack Hussein Obama for President of these United States. Allahu Akbar!

New Stats Reveal: R&D and TBTL are the Kings of Poop Island

Due to our out-of-townedness we did not have an opportunity to compile our weekly blog comment stats for K-I-R-O, we do it here now. Over their preceding 10 posts, the K-I-R-O blogs have each generated ... [drum roll] ...

#1 - Dori Monson Show - 218 comments (~21 comments per post)

#2 - Dave Ross Show - 107 comments (~10 comments per post)

#3 - Joan Andrews with Luke Burbank - 35 comments (~3 comments per post)

#4 - Meathead and the Moron Show - 19 comments (~2 comments per post)

More amusing still is that the David Boze Show (who? we'd never heard of it either) generated a whopping 76 comments, quadrupling Meathead & the Morons blog stats (and doubling Joan Andrews), despite the fact that show is heard on a low-wattage AM station with no live-stream, as opposed to Meathead & the Moron and Joan Andrews which are heard on a high-wattage AM station with a FM simulcast with an internet live-stream!

Congratulations to the (still) reigning kings of poop island: Joan Andrews and Meathead & the Moron!


(BTW - this blog, despite having no radio signal to promote it, has generated 15 comments over the preceding 10 posts ... 4 less than Meathead & the Moron.)

Luke Burbank - No Longer Claiming Just to Have Pre-Pubescent Characteristics, Now Dressing As One ...

We've noted before how creepy it is when Luke Burbank, the 41-year old host of the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank, engineers situations that allow him to call attention to his supposed "boyish" physical characteristics that, apparently, only he can perceive (e.g. "I can't grow facial hair, high school boys can grow more facial hair than me! Tee hee hee!"). But this really takes the cake. He's now taken to dressing up as a young boy. Peter Pan Syndrome out of control. Creeptacular rating of 11.

(BTW - we are back now, after a much deserved holiday.)

High School Boys to Luke Burbank: "No Thanks, Gramps"

We previously reported that Luke Burbank had invited high school bands to record his theme song and he would play the Top 5 on Joan Andrews radio show.

Well, the results are in and all manner of butt-pirating abounds!

Luke will not be playing the Top 5 songs. He will be playing the Top 3 songs. Why? Because only 3 bands entered! That's right, not only did he not get enough high school boys to enter to even necessitate selecting a "Top 5" he didn't even get enough to default all entries into the "Top 5"!

(You can't make this bumbling faggotry up!)

Looks Painful

Who's giving it and who's getting it in this picture?

mynorthwest.com - Week in Review

Our random sample of the total number of comments received by all four KIRO shows on their respective blogs over the course of their 10 most recent posts:

Dori Monson Show - 380 comments (~ 38 per post)
Meathead & the Moron Show - 111 comments (~ 11 per post)
Dave Ross Show - 53 comments (~ 5 per post)
Joan Andrews Show with Luke Burbank - 52 comments (~5 per post)

If this were a South Pacific island, "TBTL" would be a target for butt-pirating! (I wonder if Luke has been operating under the impression it was?)

POLL RESULTS!

The results are in! Our exclusive WeDislikeKatie poll has revealed that WDK visitors think Katie most sounds like The Wicked Witch of the West.

Full results:

Wicked Witch of the West - 51%
a Kazoo - 35%
Frank Shiers - 10%
French Stewart - 4%

We've designed the question for our next poll to especially appeal to all the pillow-biters who visit our site. Namely: whom do you think has the smallest schlong - Don, Luke or Katie?

"Qweerly I'm weeding the wong pawhlitical bwogs."

"Qweerly I'm weeding the wong pawhlitical bwogs."
- Luke Burbank, 10-2-08

After listening to the VP debate on KIRO-AM we heard a tiny bit of the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank before we could kill the volume. Sidekick Joan was relegated to call screener, possibly the first time she's actually done any work during this whole meandering train wreck of a show.

Caller 1 - This caller was openly gay (which is okay, nothing wrong with that) and had a big ol' lisp and you could tell Luke was jeaaaallll-ous!!! Luke's lisp got ratcheted up about 10 times during this exchange, you could just imagine the saliva hitting the microphone.

Caller 2 - Blah Blah Blah ... some hick from Alaska droning on about how great Palin is, was, whatever. Luke's contribution to the discussion: "Hmm," "Interesting," "Oh," "I see," - typical NPR interview style. Burbank could have been masturbating to an issue of Tiger Beat during this call for all we know. (actually we did hear a high-pitched, girlish squeal right before he went to commercials, so you never know)

Caller 3 - Luke hung-up on this caller. "Uh oh --- oops, I think I hung-up on him ... Dominique - call back!"

Caller 4 - Stutter-train!!! (Don't people fucking screen these calls?)

We turned it off after this.

Katie is Soooo Ugly ...

Seriously, don't you fags have anything better to do than send me these? Well, whatever, here's another one from some reader. These are getting worse by the day:

Katie is so ugly her husband goes with her to the Ron & Don Show so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!

Katie is Sooooo Oily ...

What the fuck is up with all the readers sending in unsolicited "Katie is So -" jokes? Well, whatever, here's another ...

Katie is so oily, the Democrats think we invaded Iraq because Katie was reporting for KIRO from Baghdad!

BTW - Meathead just did his periodic "MILF vs. The Co-Ed" contest again tonight. Unlike most editions of this contest, the Co-Ed was, in fact, a male. How the fuck does Meathead expect to "compensate" trotting some tight-assed twink around? Come on!

Tonight on TBTL: BUTT PIRATES!!!

Haaaaay boo! OMG, YOU MENS! We just heard a promo for the Joan Andrews Show with Luke Burbank and the topic for tonight is ...

(BUTT) PIRATES!

Now we've taken a lot (some) heat on this blog for referring to the butt pirating way the swing shift gang on KIRO-AM has been queering-up 710 khz, so it's a bit redeeming to us that Luke is having a (butt) pirate expert on the show tonight. We feel like we've just pulled-off the blog equivalent of prison raping each of the "10s."

This could be funny enough that we actually tune-in to the Joan Andrews Show with Luke Burbank.

Well ... maybe not that funny ...

Luke Burbank - Hipster or Bear?

Two things we know about Luke Burbank: (1) he has an absolutely atrocious lisp and (2) he constantly refers to himself as a "hipster" in a way no real hipster would.

The lack of self-awareness of this guy is unbelievable but tragically amusing, nonetheless.

We know we've called Luke fat before. Husky may, in fact, be a more accurate term. Hipsters are young and slender (and generally have normal proportions, not a weird elephant boy head). Husky guys who are old are not called "hipsters" they are called - to use the butt pirate vernacular - "bears."

Katie is Soooo Nasty ...

From a reader:


Katie is so nasty that when she screened my call I ended up getting an ear infection!

KIRO NAZIS TAKE ACTION AGAINST BLOGGER FOR CRITICISING DJ

Our exclusive WeDislikeKatie investigation into the voter registration status of KIRO DJ Meathead of the Meathead and the Moron Show has landed the blogger here in a cauldron of lukewarm water. The limp-wristed Nazi's over at KIRO-AM have banned us from their lame ass website, not because of anything we posted there, but apparently because of what we posted here.

That's okay, it just means the stakes are a bit higher.

In the course of our WeDislikeKatie investigation we uncovered bemusing information about another individual that we declined to expose as we considered it "off limits." We've changed our mind. Once verified we anticipate a second, revealing WDS expose. Stay tuned, you voyeurs!

TBTL Starts New Feature: "Faggotry Alerts!"

An observant blog reader alerted us to something our lazy guest blogger did not pick-up on last night (he probably was too busy trying to auto-fellate himself to have noticed): apparently the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank have taken to playing the KIRO "Breaking News" tri-tones each time they get an instant message from a listener. This is the radio equivalent of your gaywad neighbor's cell phone ringing with "It's Raining Men" whenever he gets a call to report to the Wednesday night bukkake block party on Harvard & Aloha.

(No word as to if these faggotry alerts will be a regular staple of the show moving forward.)

Our reader continued with these notes:

Burbank then spent about 20 minutes squealing like a chubby Japanese schoolgirl over a Frank Shiers-voiced ad that referred to the "Ballard Sausage Fest," after which he railed about what losers "most" of the radio hosts nominated for the Evening Magazines Best of Western Washington awards were (especially Fitz from The Wolf who he called-out by name -- I think he used all the same adjectives he used when he went-off on what washed-up losers Mark & Brian are) - all except some chick from some public radio station, of course ... he jizzed his pants on-air describing how awesome she was ... he then talked about his body hair some more and said his daughter said it looked like he had "pubes" on his face (isn't his daughter like 13?!) --- what an ass this guy is ---

Today on TBTL, No. 3

///GUEST BLOGGER ALERT/// The normal blogger is not blogging tonight.

It was my job tonight to blog the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank but Savage had a marginal program on so I couldn't bear to break away and listen to the faggotry likely at work on KIRO-AM.

During one commercial break I tuned-in so that I would have something to write here and I heard Luke interviewing his intern. I know I'm supposed to take issue with KIRO's evening butt pirating but I will have to give one rare kudos here. The intern had a fabulous radio voice, a lilting laugh, just a pleasure to listen to ... then Joan got on with her raspy, made-for-newspaper, manly tenor and cackling laugh and I instantly went limp.

Then Luke went into butt pirate mode and dropped this:

"He [Dane Cook] looks like an attractive guy ... he's tall, he's got long hair ..."

At least I didn't hear him flirt with the engineer again. Anyway, that was my cue to change the frequency.

Is Meathead Even Registered to Vote? - A WeDislikeKatie Investigation

Listeners to the Meathead & the Moron Show are often frightened that this duo actually votes.

In an exclusive WeDislikeKatie investigation, however, we reveal that the public may have little to fear as one of the two may not be voting at all.

A search of the Washington State Voter Registration Database shows no person with the last name "O'Neil" and first name "Don" or "Donald" registered to vote in King County.

The possible reasons for this are several:

1 - Meathead is registered to vote in a county other than King. (We're inclined not to believe this as he frequently mentions, on-air, that he lives in Seattle. Registration in a county or state other than the county or state of residence is a violation of RCW 29A.08.010.)

2 - Meathead is a victim of sexual assault.
(The State of Washington masks the voter registration files of victims of sexual assault.)

3 - Meathead does not use his real name on-air. (possible)

4 - Meathead is ineligible to vote due to a felony conviction or court ruling of insanity.

5- The Secretary of State's voter rolls are inaccurate.

6- Meathead doesn't vote.

Whatever the reason it leaves us to wonder what Meathead did at his local caucus in February? On-air he said he had attended a local party caucus. We hope he was either telling a tall tale or simply sat quietly in a corner during said caucus as only registered voters in the State of Washington are legally permitted to vote in a caucus. (We'll let the Hilary Clinton campaign take it from here ...)

UPDATE - Meathead spells his name with two "L"s. Nonetheless, even with the correct spelling, Meathead still doesn't show on the voter rolls (well there is one Don O'Neill but he's 84 years old).

Tribute Film to Katie

Apparently inspired by the leading question in our current poll, we received a link to this new video created by Listener Zan. We are embedding the film here even though it may contravene the fifth point in the WeDislikeKatie Code of Ethics.

KIRO Takes a Break from Weeknight Butt Pirating

KIRO-AM will be making some temporary schedule improvements this week by partially preempting the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank on both Wednesday and Thursday. Dr. Mockovac of Clearly Lasik has apparently been certified in lipo and Luke plans to be first in line.

No, we jest.

In actuality we have no idea what is going on Wednesday or Thursday except that the weeknight butt pirating that goes on at Eastlake Avenue will be temporarily suspended.

Shares of Astroglide (NYSE: TBTL) fell on the news.

Who?

We stumbled across this faggy website called examiner.com. Never heard of it.

Anyway, that wasn't the only thing of which we hadn't heard. Taken from their little article about the recent Washington Mutual bank collapse:

Luckily, we had the radio set to KIRO news this morning, and Gregg Hersholt and Jane Shannon were doing their usually excellent job of informing The People of Puget Sound.

Capitalization of the "The" in "the people" already tells us the writer may be either a lesbian, a member of the Seattle Green Party, or Katie, perhaps all three. But who in the hell are these Gregg Hersholt and Jane Shannon characters?

Today on TBTL, No. 2

///GUEST BLOGGER ALERT/// The normal blogger is out for the weekend. Today, WeDislikeKatie welcomes our very first guest blogger.

Tonight on the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank, Luke Burbank had someone with a more annoying voice than his own. Some doucher nerd who has a podcast was on the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank. Unlike Luke's atrocious lisp, this dude had this weird, whining voice that fluctuated in this pathetic warble-pitch like this:

errrmmmm ... you knowwwwww ... mmmmm ... saaaaYYYyyy ... mhuh ...

One thing Luke and this dude did have in common, though, was the bizarro, affectatious, high-pitched squeal-giggle, which still does not contrast well with Jenn "The Ball Buster" Andrews manly tenor bellow.

The name of this dude's show?

The Sound of Young America

Right.

More like The Sound of Dungeons & Dragons.

You could tell these two gaywads were doing their best to keep from jumping each others bones during the entire segment. One actual exchange:

Guy: Can I call you goose?
Luke: I wish you would, why?
Guy: It's because you fly south for the winter!
Luke & Guy: *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*

WTF?!

The rest of the segment was spent talking about Wes Anderson films (surprise) during which Guy could barely keep from breaking into uncontrollable laughter at his own "jokes." (You know your jokes are pretty lame when even the show sidekick, "The Ball Buster", fails to laugh at them.)

Katie Can't Take the Heat - Daddy-O Don Steps In

After spending months demanding the listeners give them "all three" and "leave a comment on our blog at mynorthwest.com," R&D seem to have hit a bump in the road.

Meathead, of Meathead & the Moron Show, today demanded people stop making critical comments on their blog and chastised anyone who would have so much "time to waste on our blog." Does he think before he talks? Come on, guys, don't sell yourselves short like that.

Meathead then threatened that they would completely take down the comments section on their blog if people didn't stop making Katie cry. Here's a clue, dumbo: when you axe comments and forums web traffic takes a hit. So go ahead and kill it, Meathead, WeDislikeKatie will reap the rewards as the only remaining site on which people can discuss KIRO-AM.

Meathead - we don't mind if you go after Ron and me, but leave Katie alone.

Tough. Anyone who speaks into the microphone is fair game.

Catch Luke Burbank's Disease

Luke Burbank has started a contest where anyone of puberty-age and who belongs to high school bands can send in their version of the theme song from the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank and win a special prize. Is this another situation Luke Burbank has engineered that will allow him to compare his self-perceived "boyish" [sic] physical characteristics with those of high school boys? Luke's current contest finds the middle-aged DJ, rather creepily, doing a daily comparison of his body hair growth with the 13 year-old son of one of his listeners (we can get away with saying this because, astonishingly, it's not exaggeration but actually true).

Peter Pan Syndrome, folks - it ain't pretty.

(The most disturbing part? The Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank's theme song is called "Catch My Disease." >sigh<)

Meathead & the Moron (Ron & Don) Friday Preview

Don: Who we got next, Katie?
Katie: yeiiiiiiiiiiiiii-aaaaaayiiiiii
Don: COME ON!!!
Ron: Don, Katie's got us her usual gold-medal lineup of guests today, first up we have "Sister", from the hit play Catchism.
Don: Haven't we had her on like 7 times already? COME ON!
Katie: shrrrriiiieeeek --- waaaaaaa -- yiiiiiiiiii
Ron: After that it's the one and only Miss Gibbs who will give us her recipe for Sweet Potata' Pie, and then a "Best of Sister" retrospective of past interviews of Sister. Then we'll have our own Program Director as a guest followed by insightful political analysis with Dave Ross.
Don: Dave Ross, seriously?
Ron: No. Actually the insightful political analysis will be delivered by Katie ...
Katie: waaaayiiiii-screeeeeeccccch!
Ron: In hour three we'll play a rousing game of MILF vs. Co-Ed. The winner will receive a date with Luke from Major Blinds.
Don: (I wish I was eligible to win ...)

[IMAGE: Katie having a bad hair day.]

TBTL "Fan" Film from Listener Zan

Those who listen to KIRO regularly may recall Listener Zan, the Polock who wrote the Which KIRO Host Are You? quiz that Dori Monson spent 30 minutes discussing on his show a few months ago. Zan, a former TBTL fan, was also responsible for a mash-up video that portrayed Luke Burbank, of the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank, as a superhero. Zan writes us with the following, plus a link:

After I was becoming disssiliusioned with the TBTL once showed that they thief there content from other radio shows, I make this second video I send to Burbank. My first video posted to front page of mynorthwest.com. My second video was never once spoken about, undoubtedly you know for sure the reason. I send to you for enjoyment.

Today on TBTL, No. 1

I can barely stand listening to the One & Done Show. Don't expect me to listen to the Joan Andrews Show featuring Luke Burbank.

Anywhooo, I can take a pretty good guess about how the show will go tonight without having to listen: Luke engineers a situation (i.e. mustache growing contest) that will allow him to point out his self-perceived pubescent physical characteristics ("Tee hee you guys, I can't grow whiskers! OMG! *giggle*). Creeptastic!


[IMAGE: Burbank really does shave. Why else would the KIRO dumpster reportedly be full of Venus razors? We certainly know Joan isn't using them.]

Today on the Meathead & the Moron (Ron & Don) Show, No. 1

Don did his daily MILF vs. Co-Ed trivia contest. This is the part of the show where Don starts to worry he hasn't adequately compensated so brings on a MILF and a Co-Ed to answer trivia questions Ron reads. Don prefaces this segment by hitting on the MILF and the Co-Ed in a very awkward, stumbling, Clay Aiken-like way.

Katie was silent throughout this contest.

(IMAGE: Katie in-studio.)