Lacy Burbank, who likes to proudly note he's a bastard daddy, is now sponsoring a contest to record a rap that will cheer-up the bastard mama of one of his listeners (apparently her welfare check didn't clear or something, we didn't follow). The inane, butt-pirating lyrics that he wrote can be found on his sparsely-trafficked website.
Apparently they're supposed to be funny.
[crickets]
WDK is now also sponsoring a contest to record our lyrics to the Lacy Burbank Theme Song set to the tune of Cher's Dark Lady. (There's no artist more faggily appropriate for a Burbank theme than Cher.)
So get your mics ready, start recording and email us your MP3s. We'll post one winner here within the next two weeks. Following are the sanctioned lyrics:
The PM Queen,
Of the Radio Scene,
Strutting' Around in his Tight Lady Jeans.
He is fat,
And not with a P,
We're talking cellulite, 1, 2 and 3.
Joan Andrews,
Acts Ed McMahon,
She is truly his one and only fan.
I turned on my AM set,
He's still on the air,
Did someone lose a bet?
---
(CHORUS)
Luke Burbank giggled and jiggled,
As the ratings fell one by one.
Potted up the microphone and said,
"Let's have some fun!"
Luke Burbank giggled and jiggled,
As the clock struck five to ten.
This time tomorrow he'll be back,
And do it all again.
---
They have a fan,
And he is a fag,
Sits at home watching re-runs of JAG.
But when the big hand,
Hits seven o'clock,
He grabs some vaseline and one dirty old sock.
Dreaming of Burbank,
Wearing a wig,
This kid he is one sick, lonely pig.
The show gets going,
And he's stroking one off,
That sound you hear is a groan, not a cough!
---
(CHORUS)
---
The show's now rockin',
Talkin' NPR,
Joan is cackling, that's all she's done so far.
Luke reminds us that he used to be big,
Until he got shuffled,
To this provincial, lonely gig.
Working the swing shift,
On an AM band,
This wasn't what daddy had planned.
So if you ever hear,
K-I-R-O,
Heed my advice and skip this lame-ass show.
---
(CHORUS)
---
see the original:
BTW - our winner of the Promote WDK and Win a Dildo Contest is Herbert in Des Moines. Congratulations, queer!
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12 comments:
hOLy sHiT...iTs sATurDay nIght anD i tUrn oN kIRo to sEe how the bOeIng stRike votE wENt.
tHat iS a bIg lOCal stoRy, rIgHt?
BuT thEy'Re nOt tALking aBout thE stRike. lUcy bUrbanK is oN. anD I'm tHInking, "hoW cOMe tHis aSShole aIN't taLKin' bOuT the Vote?"
TheN i ReAlize, tHis aiN't a lIVe shoW. iT's a fuCKin' rePeat.
wHat tHe fUCk haPPened tO kIrO?
oH, bY tHe wAy, i wAs gOIng tO pOst aBout tHis oN bLAtherWatch.
bUt tHat qUeer mIChael hOOd hAs beComE a bIGgeR fUDge-pAcker tHan LuCy bURbank. hE's aLways wRitIng aBout rEstaUrants aNd ShIt, lIKe he'S sOme sOrt oF eMiRil LaFaGGe.
hOOd: wRitE aBouT rAdiO, aSSwiPe.
I think some of the comments about Luke Burbank are a little over the top. I mean some are definitely spot-on but some go too far. Just my .02.
Sorry, did I miss a beat? What the hell is blatherwatch?
Wow. Such wasted effort and lame attempts at humor is just really, really sad. Too bad you're a miserable human being and have nothing at all to contribute to society.
Go die!
Go die!
Go die
die
die
die!
Go die!
FYI, friends, the IP address of "anonymous" originates at the workspace of our special friends on Eastlake ... tee hee hee --
Can you post the ip address so we can verify?
I'm afraid that would be a violation of our Privacy Policy, dear friend.
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