2 Pack

1 - We have a winner in our Record the Lacy Burbank Theme Song contest! We'll post it next week at some point for all you gaywads to beat-off to -

2 - Our weekly audit of mynorthwest.com web traffic finds that, once again, the butt pirates at Meathead & The Moron and the Joan Andrews Show Featuring Lacy Burbank have, yet again, fagged it up. Comments over the last 10 posts on each KIRO show's blog:

Dori Monson - 335 comments

Dave Ross - 126 comments

Joan Andrews Show Featuring Lacy Burbank - 38 comments
(this includes 7 by Lacy Burbank,
an artificial inflation of his stats)

Meathead & the Moron - 25 comments

When are they going to put these two craptastic shows down?

Katie Lazier Than Ever

Today's Meathead & The Moron Show was to feature a titilating investigation of the economic meltdown. The only problem? Call screener Katie couldn't be bothered to book a guest. The only solution?

Meathead: Hey, if you happen to be an expert on economics - call us up! If you happen to be a professor or a banker - call us up and explain the economy to us!

One of Meathead's "experts" then called in with a sob story of how she was out of a job and couldn't get anyone to hire her. Meathead said "send me your resume and I'll put it on our blog, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE READ IT!" WTF?! Does he really believe that? We've previously reported that 4 people read their blog and 2 of them are Katie.

KIRO-AM Not Queer Enough for Some

KIRO-AM, which operates the most swashbuckling, butt-pirating lineup of queer baiters after 3PM each day, is apparently not quite pastel enough for some of its limp-wristed employees. An up-and-coming Seattle radio blog reports. KIRO-AM employees apparently feel unsatisfied by the hire of Lacy Burbank and Meathead & The Moron and are demanding more more more!

Lacy Burbank Ups the Pathetic Factor with the Increasing Nonsense of His Poor Man's Jimmy Fallon Routine

We've previously covered the many documented cases of Lacy Burbank liberally "borrowing" schtick from other radio / tv programs for his little AM radio snoozefest.

What is often more pathetic, though, is when the man-child finds something too well done and then tries to put his chubby thumbprints all over it by (1) dismissing it with a haughty nod, and, (2) attempting to salvage some remote, tortured, stretched connection between it and himself. It is important to Lacy Burbank that, if he can't be Dr. Pepper, he can at least be Mr. Pibb.

This was in evidence in a recent blog post on the creepy, overweight hack's blog in which the man-child regaled us with a recap of some past instance of his "genius", then provided actual content of some creative humor (created by someone other than himself, naturally) and finished it off by pointing out his connection to it - in this case the fact that one of his lame ass, (also overweight) public access radio friends happened to have appeared for 2 seconds in the background by accident -- embarrassingly noting that this stretched connection would be, for his reader, the most interesting part of his post. (This particular "friend" we've covered in a prior report.)

It's Lacy's weird, pathetic, creepy, self-esteem absent, attention-grabbing, formula we see time and time again:

1 - remind everyone who the "star" is

2 - provide some actually entertaining content created by someone who is actually entertaining

3 - link the listener/reader back to #1 by asserting some remote connection "the star" has to #2

The total lack of self-awareness of this guy is thrillingly amazing.

Once Again - Lacy Burbank and Meathead & The Moron Suck it Up (oh yeah, KIRO staffers get fired, too)

No more able to afford Lacy Burbank's insatiable demands for Ho-Ho's and Astroglide, KIRO-AM recently fired a bunch of people. But you can read all about that on other blogs.

Annnnywhooo, to punish Meathead and The Moron for their absolute suck-fest in the web game, KIRO management have added another hour to their workday (now heard from 3 to 7 instead of 3 to 6). That means one extra hour of Katie Shriek Fest. That also means you few Meathead & The Moron listeners who remain shouldn't go buying any new china or expensive glassware.

"But what do you mean by web game suck-fest, Blogger?"

Well, fags, here is our sixth weekly comment stats from the Four Families blogs on mynorthwest.com and you'll see that - once again - Lacy Burbank and Meathead & the Moron take it in the pooper.

Dori Monson - 206 comments over previous 10 posts
Dave Ross - 133 comments over previous 10 posts
Lacy Burbank - 73 comments over previous 10 posts
Meathead & The Moron - 22 comments over previous 10 posts.

By the way - the Blogger was on vacay last week so, for all you gaywads who have nothing better to do than read this shit, we hope you found something else to amuse yourselves, like obsessive self-abuse.

Obamanation Elected: Burbank Out of a Job?

It's been the talk of talk radio this week: The One Party will use its newly granted dictatorial authority to reintroduce the Fairness Doctrine to silence opposition and ensure continuity of power in 2010, something they were unable to do in 1994.

What does the Fairness Doctrine mean for KIRO-AM with 3 liberal and 1 conservative hosts? It means the reverse from just about any other city. One of the liberal hosts is losing their job ...
which one will it be?

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock ...

Lacy Burbank Shouts Out to a Bastard Mama

Our treat for Halloween was boning a trick we met last Wednesday. We've previously noted we're rated "R" for "Republican" but we do much prefer the Democratic ladies as they're usually willing to take it in the pooper. Anyway, she's asleep now so we thought we'd sneak out and write a little WDK update.

Lacy Burbank, who likes to proudly note he's a bastard daddy, is now sponsoring a contest to record a rap that will cheer-up the bastard mama of one of his listeners (apparently her welfare check didn't clear or something, we didn't follow). The inane, butt-pirating lyrics that he wrote can be found on his sparsely-trafficked website.

Apparently they're supposed to be funny.

[crickets]

WDK is now also sponsoring a contest to record our lyrics to the Lacy Burbank Theme Song set to the tune of Cher's Dark Lady. (There's no artist more faggily appropriate for a Burbank theme than Cher.)

So get your mics ready, start recording and email us your MP3s. We'll post one winner here within the next two weeks. Following are the sanctioned lyrics:

The PM Queen,
Of the Radio Scene,
Strutting' Around in his Tight Lady Jeans.

He is fat,
And not with a P,
We're talking cellulite, 1, 2 and 3.

Joan Andrews,
Acts Ed McMahon,
She is truly his one and only fan.

I turned on my AM set,
He's still on the air,
Did someone lose a bet?
---
(CHORUS)

Luke Burbank giggled and jiggled,
As the ratings fell one by one.
Potted up the microphone and said,
"Let's have some fun!"

Luke Burbank giggled and jiggled,
As the clock struck five to ten.
This time tomorrow he'll be back,
And do it all again.
---
They have a fan,
And he is a fag,
Sits at home watching re-runs of JAG.

But when the big hand,
Hits seven o'clock,
He grabs some vaseline and one dirty old sock.

Dreaming of Burbank,
Wearing a wig,
This kid he is one sick, lonely pig.

The show gets going,
And he's stroking one off,
That sound you hear is a groan, not a cough!
---
(CHORUS)
---
The show's now rockin',
Talkin' NPR,
Joan is cackling, that's all she's done so far.

Luke reminds us that he used to be big,
Until he got shuffled,
To this provincial, lonely gig.

Working the swing shift,
On an AM band,
This wasn't what daddy had planned.

So if you ever hear,
K-I-R-O,
Heed my advice and skip this lame-ass show.
---
(CHORUS)
---
see the original:



BTW - our winner of the Promote WDK and Win a Dildo Contest is Herbert in Des Moines. Congratulations, queer!

Program Review: TBTL Fags It Up, Even with Lacy Burbank Gone

For the first time in a long time we caught a tiny bit of TBTL tonight. Apparently Lacy "Big Boned" Burbank was taking one of his many nights off, leaving the show to the high-pitched screech of sidekick Joan Andrews. Our observations:

(1) Joan Andrews, as she does whenever she hosts, did a show dedicated to all things New York. Thank God. If there's one thing that helps the ratings of a local radio show it's covering another city and another city exclusively (NOT). As long as they don't start selling advertising on their faggy podcast this will all work into our master plan of seeing TBTL canceled and replaced with Bob Brinker reruns.

(2) Joan interviewed a pair of lesbos, in the middle of which one of the lesbos starting cursing and had to be "dumped." (That's what happens when you spend your show budget on a sidekick instead of a producer.)

(3) We've already queried about Joan's "made for newspaper" cackle-shriek voice, but what is with her neurotic, breathless, gasping style of talk when she's hosting? She sounds like a nervous high school DJ ... "first day on the air!"

(4) On two separate occasions Joan pleaded with the member of the audience not to send her any mean instant messages. This reminded us of Luke's occasional on-air meltdowns when he accuses people of being out to get him. It's all pretty telling and pretty faggy.

One thing that didn't change was the atrocious prep. Each time they wanted to play a clip there were several awkward moments and on-air references to which file, which folder, which directory said clip was stored in ... Lacy's chubby thumbprints are still all over this trainwreck.

All in all a typical night of butt-pirating on 710 khz.

UPDATE: She ended the show by just playing 10 minutes of audio from last night's episode of Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Why do they even bother with having a radio show at night? Just play the NBC audio feed every night and save $$$, KIRO-AM.

Third Week in a Row: TBTL and R&D are The Biggest Losers! Congrats, Fags!

For the third week in a row, Ron & Don and Lacy "Big Boned" Burbank are KIRO's biggest losers, generating a pitiful amount of web traffic as indicated by relative comments over their 10 most recent posts.

Dori Monson Show - 513 comments in last 10 posts
Dave Ross Show - 79 comments in last 10 posts
R&D Show - 22 comments in last 10 posts
TBTL - 22 comments in last 10 posts (which includes 3 by the host himself)

How much longer until they put these two dogs down?

Does Luke Burbank Look Like This Girl?

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:

CLICK HERE